Monica Lewinsky gave a TED talk on “The Price of Shame”. There are praises. So are there nasty comments. Let’s take a look at the talk from the perspective of the voice.
Voice reflects emotion.
When was the last time you didn’t want to go to work and had to call your boss to take a day off? Did you speak in a very upbeat tone, “Hey, boss! I’m sick!” “Come back to work”, said your boss. That, I assume, never happened, because you know when people are sick, their voice changes. So, instead, you probably faked a very weak voice in order to “sound” sick.
Voice never lies. It tells the world your physical state, emotional state and mental state. Though some people may try to hide it, the voice will show the disconnection and the discongruence.
In Monica Lewinsky’s TED talk, her voice is genuine and sincere. This is reflected in the groundness and solidness of her voice throughout the entire speech.
There was regret in her voice when she talked about her story. There was pain you could imagine when she talked about how people called her, “I was branded as a ‘tramp’, ‘tart’, ‘slut’, ‘whore’, ‘bimbo’ and, of course, ‘that woman’.” Her pace was even slower and paused longer after each of the words. Each word is giving your heart one more pinch. If you could imagine at the age of 24, that would have been all that you had been called, what would your world be like? How long could you stand that? Would you have enough courage to live your life? At the age of 42, Monica Lewinsky could stand in front of the public, with the risk of being attacked massively. I say, she’s strong. Considering all these years of humiliations she’s been through, she’s strong. Talking about her story and exposine her vulnerability, she’s strong.
There were tons of nasty comments on TED. It reminded me of a saying, “When you attack another person, it reflects nothing about the other person and everything about you.”
Now, how can you use your voice for your speech? Many people work on pitch, volume and tone with the hope to make their speech more interesting. If you are thinking about the same, you get it all wrong. It should be the other way around. Work on your emotion and it’ll get expressed in your voice.
Let’s look at the details on her voice that made Monica Lewinsky’s speech a good one.
3Ps in Monica Lewinsky’s Voice
1. Pace
Monica Lewinsky speaks in a slow pace. It helps her convey the proper emotion and get understood clearly.
Many of my clients speak way too fast and wonder why people often ask them to repeat and couldn’t understand them well. The rule of thumb is 160 words/minute. But who would count that for you? My advice is to speak in a pace that people could follow you well and that your message could get better across.
2. Pitch
Monical Lewinsky’s voice is at a mid to lower pitch. You can understand. This is a speech talking about her “shame” story and a serious cause about cyber humiliation. There’s no need for high pitch. Lower pitches convey more seriousness and get people reflect.
If you want to make people reflect, use a lower pitch. Don’t scare them off with a high pitch. Leave it when you are excited or want to motivate your audience.
3. Pause
Monica Lewinsky’s speech is an excellent example showing you how to use pause. Pauses give people time to reflect and can stir emotions. When she’s saying, “I was branded as a ‘tramp’, ‘tart’, ‘slut’, ‘whore’, ‘bimbo’ and, of course, ‘that woman’.” She paused after every word. It sank into your ears, and your hearts, making you feel for her.
I can’t stress the importance of pause more. If you want to create impact, pause more often.
It’s an excellent speech, not just the techniques we analysed, but her courage and strength. I applaud for her. Watch the speech below.
